It’s the Black Friday pepperspray turn-in sale.

Black Friday Pepperspray Surrender Sale!T

Today only, 11-6: a deal so good it ought to be unconstitutional! Turn in your pepperspray gun and canisters, and we’ll give you 20% off any nonpepperspray accessories in stock. (Sorry, camping out front is strictly verboten.)

Police officer special: Have you deployed pepperspray on peaceful protesters, sirs? Then show us your badge and some video proving your valor, surrender your pro pepperspray System on the counter, and then take an additional 20% off the marked-down price. Wow, does that equal 40% off? NO! That sort of math would be in serious need of a well-enforced exercise training program. We’ll let you stop and figure it out, sir!